Your guide to more confidence, success, connection & abundance through the 6 keys to magnetic influence.
I know you have asked yourself at least once…how do the world’s most influential leaders and visionaries do it?
Oh yes, it’s about to get real.
…How are they able to transmute such magnetic energy that attracts everything they want, like magic?
Just imagine if you had a toolbox that enables you to be magnetically influential with others, which not only increases your own self-confidence, success and manifestation but also draws others closer to you because they can FEEL the power of that energy!
Whether you own your own business, are working in a team, manage a team, are in a relationship or looking for one, regardless of your life situation, these are skills that every human being can benefit from. Why?
Because 100% of the people you interact with, are human beings.
Ready to start consciously creating more of what you want? Then…
These teachings are for you if….
You want more confidence in yourself and your interactions with others
You want to improve your influencing power
You want to attract more abundance and success
You are looking for practical methods that you can apply immediately to your life
These teachings are not for you if….
You want a low vibe trickery scheme of ‘1, 2, 3’ steps to manipulate people and take advantage of them.
Like everything I do, these methods are based on many disciplines, including neuroscience, psychology, business and human behaviour.
I researched, reflected, connected the dots, made my own interpretations, tried and tested in the real world and succeeded in implementing myself, as well as helping others do the same, countless times.
This stuff works, and it does so because it speaks to the very nature of who we are as humans, what’s important to us and how to relate to one another, and to life itself.
Also, you will notice a difference in my approach, as with any of my work whether it be books, training, courses, keynotes, these are not just ‘skills’ you ‘use’ on people to get what you want, rather these are traits of character that will build you into a more confident, caring and happier human being with long term results.
So dive in, get your highlighter, take notes, and then set an intention, to implement at least one of these traits within the next week, then another, then another, and so on, until you are a master in this and it just comes naturally to you.
Remember as with anything, when trying something new it can feel awkward or scary, but know that with every rep, your mental muscle gets stronger, so keep at it, and reap the results from your personal growth!
So, let’s dive straight in…
Key #1 — Genuine Connection
In order to influence anyone, you must first create a genuine connection with them.
I emphasise the word genuine because if it is fake, people can tell and it won’t get you very far.
So how to build genuine connection with anyone?
Here’s your bulletproof toolbelt — implement these and you will manage to build a connection with anyone, regardless of their background or the situation.
Be curious about them.
I mean REAL curiosity. The skill here is to put yourself in the mindset of a child discovering a spoon for the first time.
Look at the person with wonder, and think to yourself,
“I am fascinated to get to know your story, your views on life and your ideas.”
This is so magnetic; the person you are speaking to will feel like the most important person in the world. Why is that? Because unfortunately today such a presence is rare, so giving people your undivided, full attention with genuine curiosity is a guaranteed success, and that for you both.
The counterpart will be uplifted, feel significant and you will have opened the door to all positive possibilities. Win, win.
Remember their name
Your name is the strongest word you associate with. It is music to your ears.
When you address someone’s name, they immediately listen. Do so in a natural way throughout conversation (don’t overdo it as this can get intimidating)
A good way to remember someone’s name? Link an image that you associate with it (example, Peter; a tear falling on a pea). The visualization strengthens the neural connections in your brain and the likelihood that you will remember their name.
Make them feel important
It is a human need to feel SIGNIFICANT. If you can leave a conversation having made the other person feel important, you have gained a high level of influence in their life.
- Do so by being a good listener.
- Put your phone away for those minutes you are talking.
- Look them in the eyes and hold a natural gaze.
- Nod as they speak.
- Reaffirm what they say and allow for pauses between.
This is so liberating, because again, it is very rare in today’s disconnected world, to leave a conversation feeling genuinely understood and listened to.
I assure you they will not forget you after an interaction like this.
Key #2 —Competence & Confidence
One without the other doesn’t work when you want to make a true impact.
People like people who are confident, charismatic and competent in what they do.
Having a high amount of confidence yet not being great at what you do or offer in terms of a service/product, is not going to get you very far. This approach will come across as arrogant, fake and insensitive.
Having high competence in skillsets yet very low confidence and self-esteem in your identity, leaves you stuck in dead-end jobs, being taken advantage of, not getting the recognition and abundance you deserve.
Yeah.. I see you nodding.
So, how do you build both?
Your confidence cannot be derived through the acquisition of ‘things’ i.e… job, relationships, car, house, more stuff, titles, destinations… these things feed your ego, which might make you ‘feel confident’ in the moment, however, is fragile and breaks down the moment you lose any of those things. Which therefore makes you inherently vulnerable to low confidence.
Your confidence must be derived from something deeper; an emotional stability inside you. An alignment of your self image with your identity.
This is a deep topic, however, you can begin to do this by developing a healthy relationship with yourself first and foremost;
- Monitor the words you say to yourself on a regular basis, are they helpful or harmful?
- Write down what you love about yourself (like you would compliment a friend)
- Keep promises to yourself
- Take initiative to be kind to yourself each day with self-care rituals
Another way to put it is to treat yourself the way you would treat someone you really love. How do you feel when you think of them? How do you show up for them? Do that for yourself.
Only then can you appreciate the ‘things’ and relationships you have in life, from a place of enjoying them for what they are, not from a conditional fear that if you lose them, you lose yourself (told you this was deep).
It will also mean everything you do will be from a place of authentic essence and authenticity, which oozes confidence, in a magnetic way.
Building your competence is about life long learning and mastery. With anything, practice makes progress. Developing your skills, in all areas of life is crucial in building the competence that will lead you to make more confident decisions and take smarter actions. You can start by;
- Modelling the people who inspire you, in the areas of life where you want the results they have already achieved.
- Reading books, take courses, get a mentor or coach.
- Get out of your comfort zone and try the very things you are afraid of, in ‘low risk’ scenarios. For example; start a conversation with a stranger at the supermarket, by asking an open question.
- Practice, practice, practice.
Write down a list of ways in which you can start displaying more confidence & competence (based on the above) in your conversations with others.
Key #3— Bring Value
“ People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” — Theodore Roosevelt
Understand that every organisation on this planet is selling 2 things, and every person on this planet buys these 2 things;
- a solution to a problem
- a life improving experience
Let that sink in.
From all my years of experience, whether it be in wealth, health or relationships, I have identified that these 2 principles ring true in every situation.
When someone asks you about what you ‘do’ you should be able to answer with a sentence ‘I help people achieve…’ or ‘I inspire people to….’ or ‘I create… that…’ and so on, for example.
If you cannot answer this question yourself, then most likely people will not see the value you can bring to them, which is of course not what you want.
In my online video course ‘Ignite your life purpose’ I guide you step by step in detail and help you create your value statement. Then go into more detail on how you can align your daily activities to be more in alignment with that, which will ultimately lead you to more success and fulfilment in life.
To start, you can ask yourself; what value are you offering to the world? Which of the above 2 principles are you addressing?
Apply to all aspects of your life and strengthen the value you bring to those around you.
When you cater to these 2 principles, you will have a highly influential impact on people’s lives.
Key #4 — Be Playful
People like people who are kind.
The truth is, once people become ‘adults’ and start to get weighed down by ‘responsibilities’ and all the mundane rituals of life, they crave anything that makes them feel full of life again.
When you connect with people from a playful, fun and kind energy, they will want to be around you all the time, because it is so refreshing and valuable, you can’t put a price on that.
There is a highly attractive energy to people who;
•Do not take themselves too seriously, meaning, they can laugh at their own setbacks and mistakes
•Do not pretend to be perfect (great stories never came from have it all’s)
•Are humble — They do not attach their identity to status or titles.
You all will have known a well established/known individual that was highly approachable and open.
•Smile and laugh more often. Yes. Laughter is contagious and that expression exists for a reason.
People like people who can make them laugh. Think of it this way — laughter is our bird song, when one sings, the other joins in, and it’s instantaneous.
Ever told a joke and the whole state of the room changes? Yeah, that’s the power of humour. Your best asset is your smile, wear it proudly!
Key #5— Emotions Matter
To influence is to change the emotional state of others.
Emotion = energy in motion. People like to think they are rational beings and make decisions purely based on logic. Especially in the environment of business.
Neuroscience has proven many a time that this is not the case and in fact, we are driven by our emotions more than we may think. The truth is that the brain works in a balance between reason and emotions. We make decisions emotionally and then justify the decision rationally.
Beconscious that every interaction you have with someone is a transfer of energy, whether you realise it or not, subconsciously this is happening.
You can therefore choose to transfer high energy or low energy, which will determine the outcome of the engagement. You know that person that makes you feel drained after speaking with them? They transferred their low energy to you.
Now you know, don’t be the energy drainer, be the energy uplifter; if what you want is to be magnetically influential.
“ If you want results, you must evoke emotion, because emotions are necessary to decide.” — Melisa Arnautovic
Key #6 — Build Trust
Trust is the foundation of any relationship we choose to invest in.
Hard to build and easy to break. However, it does not have to be that way.
Trust is one of those things that’s difficult to measure, it’s not like a metric in a spreadsheet, so we cannot pinpoint specific numeric attributes to what equals trust.
We can though, in my experience, observe the traits that we associate with trust, embody them and consciously make the effort to exert them with the people in our lives.
When you are a trustworthy person, your influential capabilities will soar.
Practices that build trust;
- Your actions must align with your words. When you say one thing, and then do another, it shows inconsistency which is a red flag in the human brain. We do not trust people who are inconsistent and are likely to not take them seriously.
Your actions must align with your words. When you say one thing, and then do another, it shows inconsistency which is a red flag in the human brain. We do not trust people who are inconsistent and are likely to not take them seriously.
- Always do your best to follow through on commitments. When you say you are going to do something or be somewhere, show up. The more you do so, people will see you as someone they can rely on, who is true to their word and has high integrity.
- Ensure that people feel safe around you, which is a phenomenal human need. If people feel threatened or discomfort in your presence, you can be sure they will not trust you because it goes against all human instinct. If you are not safe, you are not trustworthy.
- When there is a difficult conversation to be had, do so with integrity to the person. Do not speak badly about others when not in their presence. Address issues directly and do so from a place of honesty and compassion. People don’t change when they are criticized. People change when they feel sufficiently supported and understood.
- Have the courage to be vulnerable and let someone see you. Be open, it is emotional generosity and encouraging. When you are being your true self, people will trust you for you.
- All the prior principles in this article are also methods in which will empower you to build more trust with others.
Remember… We Are All Human
…And all human beings are drive-by core needs, the need for;
- Genuine connection and love — with ourselves and others
- Certainty and uncertainty — stability and variety
- Significance — to matter, to have meaning and purpose
- Growth — emotional, intellectual and spiritual development
- Make an impact/contribution — give and serve beyond ourselves
Now you can see the depth of these 6 principles, which I have compiled in a simple and digestible format, for you to be able to immediately apply!
If this article left you thirsty for more knowledge and wisdom, then you will love my online video courses and group workshops where I dive deeper into all of these topics and more.
I highly recommend you take part in the Moonshot Thinking Masterclass if you’d like to dive deeper into this topic when it comes to Moonshot thinking with myself and the rest of the Futur/io Faculty.
For now, I invite you to reflect on each of the principles, to enter more deeply into the concepts, to be more aware of one’s own behaviour and to begin to apply them. Each of the principles has transformed my life and when applied, can truly transform yours too.
Until next time, thank you for reading and here’s to your success.
With love, Melisa